TRAIN UP A CHILD

Train up children to love, honor, and serve God; even when they are older, they will remember and honor your lessons. (Proverbs 22:6 paraphrase)

Too many times, I have listened to the heartbreak of parents who have done their best but still live with poor decisions made by their children. This Proverb is not a promise. It is a “best practice.” It does not guarantee an outcome, but it increases the odds.

We live in a world filled with advice about raising children—books, blogs, podcasts, and endless opinions. Scripture though, offers a word both simple and profound: 'Train up a child in the way he should go.”

So, what does it mean to train a child? Is it like training a person for an athletic endeavor, training a person to serve in the Armed Forces, or a plant to grow in the right direction and shape? Those are not bad images, but others are more to the point of what scripture teaches.

In Hebrew, the word used here is chanak. Elsewhere in the Old Testament, this word means “to dedicate”—to set something apart for God’s purposes, like a house or temple. Only here does it take on the added meaning of “train.”

This word is rich with meaning. It means more than teaching facts or correcting mistakes. It is the intentional shaping of a life. It involves nurturing a deep hunger for what is good and godly. It includes dedicating a child and promising to lead them on a path shaped by grace, truth, and faithful living.

One ancient use of the word chanak referred to the practice of midwives rubbing a baby’s gums with sweet paste to awaken their appetite and stimulate their sucking reflex. In this sense, training is helping a child develop a taste for God and a life shaped by God.

That kind of training does not just happen in classrooms on Sunday mornings. It happens every day and everywhere: during meals, in conversations, at bedtime, in car rides. This training is shaped by how we speak, listen, forgive, and live.

As Deuteronomy 6:6-7 teaches:
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Interestingly, this training begins at home. The church is here for you, but we can only be midwives, whetting your child’s appetite for God. You must feed them.

This kind of training  requires:

• Intentionality – Choosing what really matters and pursuing it with rigor.

• Intimacy – Letting our children see our faith in action, especially in our most tender moments.

• Consistency – Living what we say we believe, because children will believe what we do over what we merely say.

Children are always watching. They learn from what we value, not just what we say. If they see us thirsting for things other than God, we teach them to do the same.

None of us is perfect. Only God can do some things. But that does not excuse us from doing what we can do. Training up a child—walking with them on the journey of faith—is a great responsibility. We do our best, and trust that God will take them where they will not follow us. Every step he takes is faithful.

Reflection:

1.      What are the children in your life learning about God—not from your words, but from your tone, your joy, and your priorities?

2.      Are they developing a hunger for what is holy because they see you hungering for it? Do they see you worshipping, praying, studying Scripture, and serving others?

Suggested Actions:

1.      Look for opportunities to talk about God’s ways. Example: instead of just instructing your child not to be a bully, talk to them about God’s kindness and that God wants us to be kind.

2.      Develop a routine of Bible reading and prayer. Begin with one time a week (and work your way up). Dedicate at least 15-20 minutes to these sacred practices.

3.      Be attentive to where you observe God in nature, in circumstances, and in others. Talk to your children about these things. Ask them where they see God in their lives.

Did something in this reflection resonate with you? Are you feeling encouraged, challenged, or even uncertain? We would love to be your partners on this journey of faith and training. Please reach out to us.